cold turkey

yesterday, i decided to give up caffeine. well, the caffeine found in drinks anyway. so, yesterday...day 1 had michael david falling asleep easier and without all of his colicky fussing.

today...not so much.

i went to lunch with my aunt karen today. we had burgers at red robin and enjoyed a nice conversation. i ordered water and then changed my mind when the waiter said something about root beer. root beer is caffeine free, right? i was sure i remembered that from pregnancy days.

i really started thinking about it this evening though when michael david's nightly hard-to-get-to-sleep routine was quite apparent.

i got online to double check my thinking on root beer. sure enough, it is caffeine free. most brands are anyway. all except barq's. well...crap. what did i have at lunch today? you guessed it, barq's!

so much for quitting cold turkey. i'll give it a go again tomorrow and hope it gets better!

and so it begins...

for room and board and "miscellaneous services" my hospital bill totals $12,602.24.

i'm just wondering...does "miscellaneous services" include a C section?

wowzers.

9.11.01

i can't believe it's been 8 years.

9.11.01

i was babysitting for my boss. he and his wife were in vegas on a much needed vacation and i was in charge of cody and madelyn for 4 days. that morning, i had gotten them up, ready and dropped off at school. i went back to the house to get myself ready for the day and was putting on my makeup watching the news. i was horrified to see what happened to the twin towers that day. so many people lost their lives. i am praying for their families today.

boss and his wife were, of course, unable to fly home because all flights had been grounded. i ended up spending an extra week and half as mom.

it was a time that i am sure no one will ever forget.

sweet boy

hard work

this parent thing is really hard work. really. it's so hard to hear MD cry and not know what he wants. his diaper is clean. he's fed. he's not screaming like he does when his tummy hurts. he just cries. he falls asleep until it's time to lay down and then he's wide eyed and awake. if you leave him lying there to fall asleep...he cries some more.

it's hard not to get frustrated. it's hard when i do get frustrated and then immediately feel terrible. i know babies feel tension so i try and stay relaxed. i've been praying a lot.

michael does his best to help out and calm the baby. he takes over when he can tell i'm no longer helping the situation. but still...

i just want to make sure i am nurturing and growing a happy, healthy baby. sometimes i wonder if i am. mom says that all babies cry and that things will look up eventually. it's still hard.

in the middle of the day, things seem so sweet and wonderful and i feel like a pretty good mom with a pretty good baby. then it seems about the time for michael to get home, michael david gets fussy and i just want his daddy to be able to see him sweet and happy.

i know it will get better and even now, it's totally worth it. i love him more than i ever thought i could love anything. i love being his mama, just for now...it's hard work.

speaking of wet stuff falling...

everyone told me to watch out for little boys peeing on you.

no one. and i mean NO ONE ever said anything about watching out for poop.

thanks a lot.

wet stuff!!! it's falling from the sky!!!

in the past two days, we've actually had rain! it's rained for at least a couple of hours each morning soaking the ground and helping to cool things off a bit. yesterday afternoon, we were driving to the doctor's office and the temperature gauge said 80 degrees. 80 degrees in the middle of the afternoon!!! it's unheard of here!

this morning, michael david-swaddled tight in a blanket-and i sat on the front porch just listening and watching. it was so comforting to sit there with my calm, relaxed child and smell the sweet air. watching the water fall from the house and run down the street made me wish for a good book and a nice blanket. instead, i've cleaned the kitchen and started a load of laundry while the child sleeps in the swing (finally). my how quickly life changes when a baby is a part of it.

thank you, Jesus, for the rain!

first outing without him...

tonight, i left michael david for the first time.

mom, sarah and i went to ichibans for dinner and pa was on babysitting duty. i did really well and only checked to see if my dad had called about 3 times. :) we got home and found pa rocking a sleeping michael. it was a sweet sight.

thanks pa for being okay with a baby boy who likes to cry. :) and thanks, mamo, for a nice night out. it was a good time! we both love you so much!

picture post of MD's birthday

these are more pictures from mom's camera on the day of michael david's birth. i wanted to post them so i could remember them forever.

i didn't take pictures of my belly throughout my pregnancy. it's important to me to remember the way i looked growing my son, swollen feet and all... :)

warming bed where michael david would soon lay.

a note from the best nurse on the planet, chellee!

daddy praying for me, baby and a safe arrival.

michael praying for me, baby and a safe arrival as C section begins...

my daddy holding my hand, just happy to have us back and safe.

proud new daddy.

michael's nursery

i was looking through a bunch of pictures mom put on my computer from her camera. i stumbled across these pics she took of michael's nursery.

this is a picture of michael's mother and her brothers when they were young. i had it framed for michael at christmas and it goes in the nursery perfectly. plus-i love that michael david has a picture of his grandmother in his room.

nice flash! :)