my baby love

well, i've waited for hours to reveal sessie's gender. i've been waiting on michael to be able to upload the pictures from the sonogram. our stupid scanner is broken.

now, i'll just reveal without pictures of the cute, sweet baby.

sessie's name is being changed to sesse because we think the ie is too girlie for our little man.

yup!!!

a BOY!

i can't believe i'm going to have a son. i can't believe michael is going to have a son. it's more real than ever now. that sweet boy was moving all over the place, waving and giving us thumbs up. he also couldn't keep his hands from between his legs! ha!

everything looks great and he's right on target. although, he does weigh about 9 oz. and everything i've read about a baby 18 weeks along says they're about 5 oz. we've filed my due date one day earlier and it's now august 16th. we'll see how that goes. :) we're all so excited!

sesse-
it's so amazing to know that you are growing inside me. you are my sweet, little boy. i can feel you move now and i think you're getting quite a work out in there. daddy won't be able to feel you for at least another month, but i think he's gonna like it when he does. everyone is so excited that you are on your way, that's including your pa and mamo and all of your aunts and uncles. stay safe in there and know that i love you so.
your mommy

to make up for the bad news...

i called and rescheduled my ultrasound for monday, march 16th!

we'll be driving to the doctor for a 2:30pm appointment time. i'll be drinking plenty of water and orange juice (i've heard that's the trick) before then. i'm keeping my fingers crossed that at some point during the ultrasound, sessie moves around and shows us...whatever there is to show! :)

i'll let you know as soon as we know. how stinkin' exciting is this?!?!?!?!?

happy birthday, my boy

mason wilde,

you are such a big ol' boy. i was there the day your mom figured out you were on your way and i've been here ever since. you are the sweetest boy i've met and i love you dearly. i cannot believe you are 6 years old! i miss being in the same town as you and seeing you whenever i wish. i really miss being able to see you on your birthday! i hope you have a great day with lots of fun and love!

happy birthday mason!

i love you,
kylah

bad news

we're not going to new zealand. this was only decided a few days ago so at the last minute...we're stuck here. the problem is with our immigration paperwork. we have gone through hell to get michael's travel paperwork approved in plenty of time for this trip. unfortunately, a year and half later...it's not ready. after multiple calls and internet checks, i finally made a desperate plea to an immigration agent via the phone to get some answers. there is some kind of hold on our paperwork that we know nothing about. the only answer...wait it out. we have another few months of this.

if we were to leave the country...we couldn't get back in. decision made.

we found out on tuesday and i cried like i haven't cried in years. i cried in the middle of my classroom with my kids starring at me. i cried in the closet of my classroom while breaking the news to michael. i cried while telling my family and coworkers and while cancelling my sub for the week after spring break. i talked to my mom again when i got home and sobbed until i couldn't talk or breathe. then...i slept.

for us, this trip wasn't just a vacation, although we were looking forward to that aspect. our goal in traveling across the world was to be in attendance at michael's sister's wedding. last year, claire emailed me and asked for the dates of my sprint break. she planned her wedding around when we could be there. now...we can't even go. claire and i have been emailing back and forth during her planning process and i have been dying to see everything she imagined finally come together. i wanted to be there (geez...now i'm crying again) and i wanted michael to be able to be there. not only for himself, but for claire. with their parents gone, we feel an even bigger sense of family importance. living across the globe from each other doesn't allow us to get together very often but we were certainly planning on being there for the biggest day of claire's life.

claire and bevan-
we love you so much. i am so sorry that we will not be there physically on your wedding day. we will be there in spirit and we'll be praying for you both and thinking about you. we love you.

understanding

yesterday when checking my email, this was in my inbox: "your pregnancy: 16 weeks". i get an update each week on sessie from baby center. each week, i tell michael about the developments going on with our baby. he always excitedly says, "yea, baby!" while never taking his eyes from the golf channel.

this morning while sitting upstairs, watching the golf channel i pull open the email and tell michael that sessie is now the size of an avocado. he turns to me and says, "like...a haas avocado?!" well, that i don't know but from crown to rump...he/she is 4.5 inches long. i explain that and he responds, "oh! sessie can no longer fit in a golf hole. the cup is only 4 1/4 inches!"

he's getting it. in his own, completely michael way, he is understanding a little more about his baby. :)

and, just so you know, last week we had another appt. baby's heartbeat is loud and clear and strong. we can find out what color to paint the nursery on march 26th!

it's begun

the shocked eyes followed by, "when are you due?!"

it's okay, i know my tummy is bigger than a lot of people when they're 14 weeks pregnant. i don't know that i really care.

let's face it, i had a belly before sessie started taking up room, but now...it's different. and i like it. no, i'm no showing it off and super proud...yet. but, i like it. i don't care how many times my librarian scoffs and talks about how good it feels to just eat what you want. ha!

so yes...sessie seems to be growing just fine in there. i am into the maternity clothes my sister and friend passed on to me as soon as they found out i was expecting. i started the pants pretty early because being as sick as i was, i could not imagine putting tight pants around my belly. blah! i did finally give in and buy a few more pairs of pants. having one pair makes it hard to support an everyday wear lifestyle. :)

my morning sickness has seemed to revive itself a bit the past two weeks. mornings and evenings have been a little rough. don't worry, it does not even come close to what i was feeling a month ago. praise Jesus!!

our next appointment is feb 24th. i'm hoping we'll be able to talk about the sonogram that will, hopefully, reveal the gender of our little sessie. i've been thinking girl. michael has been thinking girl. seph, marme, nanny, and a ton of other people think girl. dad, landon and mandy have said boy from day one. either way...we win! :)

at close to 15 weeks prego, we're doing great!

terrible two's??? never for this one...

happy birthday to my sweet ellie belle. you are the light of my life and i have never met anything as sweet or as smart as you. :) i hope you are having a great first day at being 2 years old! i miss you like crazy but will hopefully be able to see you later today. uncle mike and i are coming to town for your birthday on valentine's day. it's the day to show love and i can't think of a better way to do that then be with you to give you a big hug and kiss! :)

i love you sweet girl,

auntie jo

pinball brain

it couldn't be my 2.5 hour nap from earlier that is forbidding sleep to come to me now...but something is.

whatever it is, my brain feels a lot like a pinball machine. i can hardly focus on one thought before i jump to another. annoying.

• hmmm...this new mattress sure is comfy.
• "would michael please stop hitting that soft golf ball upstairs!"
• is anything as precious as my baby niece and nephew?
• eggs, bacon and toast may be too heavy a supper for this pregnant lady...
• i wonder if my dresser will ever be cleaned off again
• michael better not forget to take out the trash (he never does. why even worry.)
• my dad is the coolest dad anyone could ever have.
• do not text mom. it is too late.
• yummy. banana bread sure does sound good.
• must drink more water.
• must put lotion on newly bathed feet.
• i CANNOT wait to find out what my baby love is going to be. girl? boy?
• i do not want to go to school tomorrow
• lotion?! anywhere near?!
• michael! stop hitting that ball!...is his nyquill going to kick in anytime soon?
• if i wear a red shirt on thursday i can wear jeans too. it's jump rope for heart day!
• thank goodness for bland cherrios (not even honey nut). you are saving my life each and every morning.
• man...this new mattress is awfully comfy.
• i wonder if i read my sister's texts correctly after my nap...is my other sister getting new furniture?
• LOTION?!
• tomorrow, i vow to do a load of laundry. probably. maybe.
• ellie's arms folded on her high chair during her video watching pa preach are the sweetest arms i've ever seen...sigh...
• 54 minutes past bedtime...still awake

how long does "warming up" take?!

i've been trying to get michael to scan in our newest picture of sessie (from two weeks ago) so that i could finally post it and make my sisters and mom happy.

after turning the scanner/printer on 34 minutes ago, it continues to say that it is "warming up."

oh well, maybe i can get it done tomorrow...

you might be surprised to know...

i finally took the decorations off our christmas tree yesterday.

yup. february 7th.

it took a while to talk myself into getting all those things off that tree, but i did have a fabulous time putting the 136 ornaments into my new ornament tubs (you know those divider ones). now, i get to throw away the ton of boxes the ornaments came in. fun!