37 1/2 weeks

i am increasingly uncomfortable. my back hurts. my hip/pelvic bones hurt. my lungs/ribs hurt. my feet swell. my hands swell. i can't sleep. i get occasional calf cramps. i have heartburn. i also have a new best friend...tums. i sleep with 3 king size pillows, a body pillow and a tiny throw pillow. i use only a sheet for cover, and often times pull that off halfway through the night. michael kindly sets the thermostat at 72 degrees for me at night. our fan is always on high.

i've given up on showers and thoroughly enjoy lying in the bathtub for hours at a time. it's the only way i've found to not feel the pull of my big ol' belly. plus-a warm bath right before bed, helps my body relax and fall asleep quicker.

each night when i brush my teeth i take my prenatal vitamin, an iron supplement, 2 tylenol and 3-4 tums. it's quite the production. i get up about twice each night to use the bathroom. i hate that part.

baby boy moves all the time. for the past two days, grayson has cuddled quite a bit with my tummy and baby boy gets quite excited. he starts kicking, pushing and turning all over the place. he must know they'll be great buds for life. :) it's really sweet.

i'm nervous about labor. i hope i can handle the pain okay. i am planning on getting an epidural. i have no qualms about help getting through this. this week, michael and i have attended one breastfeeding class and the first part of our "preparing for childbirth" class. the second and final part is on thursday evening. we've gotten tons of great information. we've gotten some scary information too. yikes! :)

at my appt on tuesday, doctor said i was 70% effaced but not dilated at all. i was okay with that. progress is progress, no matter how slow.

i'll just keep being content with that, especially since my doctor will be on vacation next week. eeek.

interview schminterview

this morning, michael and i attended our immigration interview. we were expecting quite the movie-esque performance form of interrogation. you know...where they take you into separate room and ask a million questions hoping to catch you in a wrong answer.

just to make sure, we quizzed each other over a few things last night on the way home from our first "preparing for childbirth" class (that's a whole other story). we got up and headed out at 7:30 this morning.

our appointment was scheduled for 8:30 and we got to the immigration office around ten after 8. we sat in the waiting room for about 2 mins before we were called upstairs. we stood in the investigator's office with our right hands raised and vowed to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help us God.

the investigator went through our paperwork, double checked a few things and asked if we had any children. michael patted my tummy and we both answered, "one on the way." the man wrote that down and congratulated us quickly. he asked if we'd happened to bring any sonogram pictures, which of course, we had. he made some copies, stuck them in our folder and approved michael's permanent residency. he didn't look at any of the other evidence we'd brought along like our bank statements or wedding albums or pictures. he explained to look for the perm residency card in the mail sometime in the next 1-2 months. he stamped michael's passport, stood and with a quick smile said, "okay, let me escort you out."

the end.

no separation. no harassment. no pressure. i probably said a total of 8 words the entire interview. we walked out of the building with a huge sigh of relief. whew. i know the final relief will arrive with that green card. but until then, we're feeling good about finally feeling a little more safe in our country. :)

cotton candy tastes okay

the blue paint does look better with all of the requirements previously listed. unfortunately, we ran out of paint. eehh. we have about 3 sq ft of wall space that we could not squeeze one more ounce of paint onto. i'll head out tomorrow to grab another quart of blue and then finish it up.

after that, the brown stripes!

keep your fingers crossed!

painting...again

you know my luck with paint. it ain't good...

yesterday, we picked and purchased paint for the nursery. the plan: blue walls with 2 or 3 brown stripes in different thicknesses about a 1-1.5 feet down from the ceiling.

today, we put up the ceiling fan and prepare the room for painting. i start. it is the sweetest color of blue maybe i've ever seen. and by sweet, i don't mean the good kind of sweet like a snickers ice cream bar. i mean like so sweet it makes you wanna smack your lips and throw away the rest of your cotton candy.

as it dries, it seems to be getting a tiny bit better. also, i think once the blinds are back on the window, the brown stripes are on and the furniture is pushed back against the walls it might...be...okay...????

i'm gonna head back up now and see how things are looking. i'll let you know how it goes...

pray?

thank yous

see, this is why to-do lists don't work. i did get the baby's cradle bedding put on and brought my suitcase downstairs, but i also wrote thank you notes for my baby shower. finally!

i kept forgetting all about that (which is quite common for me lately) and couldn't even get it put on a list.

however, everything is done and sealed and now i just need stamps. sorry everyone for taking so long. i do appreciate the wonderful shower and fabulous gifts for baby boy.

sjgh...

to do list...repeat

i've never been good at to do lists. ever.

i've had friends who write down their lists each day and enjoy marking things off of that list. i, on the other hand, do what i think about and don't worry about the rest.

yesterday, i had three goals: 1) pack my hospital bag 2) put clean bedding in the cradle and 3) get the stroller.

i got the stroller. and that's about it from the list anyway.

just to make myself feel better, i'm gonna put the bedding on right now and pull my little suitcase out of the upstairs closet.

i'm gonna get everything done at some point. no worries.

middle of the night emergency

and not for the pregnant woman.

last night, michael and i decided to move our living room around and change the furniture just a bit. with me being pregnant, michael moved everything himself, including our super heavy couch. we, of course, tried several different arrangements before we were finished. we finally got it all done and hit the sack about 30 mins later.

about an hour later i woke up to michael tossing and turning, moaning and groaning. i asked if he was okay and he said his chest was just hurting. he eventually got up and moved to the living room. about midnight, the bedroom door swings open and michael can hardly stand or breathe. i jumped up, threw on some clothes and we headed for the hospital. there are two emergency rooms about equal distances from us in opposite directions. we chose to head to the hospital where the baby will be born in san antonio...instead of boerne.

i'm driving and i'm trying to speed and not speed at the same time. michael is in a ton of pain and i'm worried he's having some sort of heart attack. i realized how tense and stressed i must have been when the baby starts knocking the inside of my body like crazy. i've never had him move like he was moving. i tired very hard to keep myself calm and relaxed, physically at least, for the remainder of the drive. we pull up to the hospital about 20 minutes later and walk into the emergency room where there isn't an open seat. this is when we realize we should have driven the other way. duh.

i explain to the nurse what's wrong and they pretty quickly take michael back for an ekg. we sit around for about 30 minutes and then they call him back to check his blood pressure and ask questions. the nurse asks if he had done anything strenuous or lifted anything heavy recently. uh...yes...that would be my fault. she said from the way he was describing his pain, it sounded like a muscle wall issue rather than a heart issue. michael was still in an insane amount of pain but i felt myself breathe a little easier.

an hour later, a chest x-ray. 45 mins after that we're taken into the actual emergency room to see a doctor. he see him about an hour after that. after really talking with michael, looking at the ekg and chest x-ray, and listening to his heart and lungs, he confirms that he believes it's been caused by the tearing or straining of the medial pec muscles. they are small muscles that can be easily inflamed and are incredibly painful. it makes it hard to do anything, especially breathe.

about 30 mins later, the nurse gives michael a steroid shot and 3 prescriptions and then they finally send us on our way. michael still couldn't breathe properly, much less move around or talk. i was starving from being awake so long so i stopped by whataburger to get a taquito. while pulling into the drive-in, i think i had a contraction. it hurt, i couldn't breathe and my stomach was hard as a rock. praise the lord, it didn't last too long and there were no reoccurring pains.

after giving michael 4 tylenol, sitting him up in bed against 3 pillows, praying over him and rubbing his head until he could relax a little, we were finally able to turn off the light and fall asleep. it was 5am.

we just woke up and michael feels much better. he can feel the tenderness in his chest and i can see a tiny wince every once in a while when he breathes in too deeply, but he's doing alright.

thank you, Jesus, for getting us through such a scary night.

post 500

that sounds so sad. only 500 posts when i've been doing this for a few years now. ha! oh well.

i sat down in front of my computer yesterday with plenty to post about, i just couldn't make anything come out. i had the pics from my wonderful baby shower. i had the disk from jenny of all of my maternity pics. i was prepared for hours of uploading pics and typing. it wouldn't work. for some reason, each time i tried to attach the pics and hit the button, it wouldn't work. i really didn't have the energy to continue long, so i gave up.

today i just thought i might touch on the things that have happened so i can hopefully blog a little more without thinking about the millions of things i need to say first.

first of all, my friends gave me the most wonderful baby shower anyone has ever had. it was on the rooftop at miss hattie's museum downtown san angelo. i walked up the staircase to find light and lanterns strung around, a table full of delicious looking goodness, mason jars with perfect lemon slices waiting for lemonade or tea, a table full of goodies for baby boy and lots of friends a family. it turned out absolutely perfect. it was just so perfectly...me. boy do my friends know me, or what?! thank you so much michelle, amy, jenny, crystal, sarah, christal, and mandy. you girls are amazing!

the day after my baby shower, maternity pics were taken, courtesy of sprinkle of grace. what a super talented friend i have. wowza! here are just a couple of my favs:

thank you jenny!

july 13th, we had another ultrasound of the little kicking machine. everything looks great. his head is down and ready to start making the move. however, it's big. yup, my kid has a big head. :) his body was measuring 35 weeks everywhere except his head which measured at 37 weeks. i guess at this point, it's not abnormally huge, but it will be if it keeps growing as his body grows! ha! other than the potential extra pain that could cause, i think it's kinda cute. i can't help but smile when i think about it. so funny! also, he is still definitely a boy! quite obvious! at that point he weighed 6 lbs 2 oz. uh...yeah...i thought the same thing.

i've had two doctor's appointments since the ultrasound in which my doctor tells me 1) "you're 35 weeks, measuring 36 weeks and the baby weighs 6.2. if you make it to your due date, he'll be about 8.5 lbs." 2) "nope. nothing going on. he's still up there in timbuktu!" and 3) "oh no, nothing at all. that baby's still baking away."

i wanted to kick her.

she really is the sweetest doctor ever and i'm so happy to have her, i'm just ready to get this kid out. on my mom's bday weekend, i was discussing pregnancy with a few friends and was surprised at how the way i feel is completely normal. i mean, i know for sure that everyone i know came to the point where they were super ready to be comfortable and normal again. what i didn't realize is that it was almost an overnight change in emotion for us all. honestly, one day i was fine with being pregnant and really enjoying it and the next day...ugh. i was totally ready to be done.

now, that doesn't mean that i feel emotionally and mentally capable of being a mom. that is scaring the living day lights out of me right now. i realize that as soon as this is over, my baby boy will be here and my life will be forever changed. i know that it will be a good change and i'll wonder how i ever lived without him but...whoa...it's just major. (i am so ready to meet him, though :))

the nursery is not all the way ready. everything is done except the painting. michael and i decided to mark that off the list on saturday. i just have to decide what color and and style to go with. hmmm...

on my to-do-list for today: 1) pack my bag for the hospital and put it and the diaper bag in a place that can be easily grabbed by michael if need be and 2)return the swing i registered for and received from my team at school :( so i can buy a stroller and 3) put the clean bedding back into the cradle i am borrowing from seph so it can be ready for night 1 at home.

also, as is probably quite obvious in this post, baby boy is still nameless. michael and i agreed last night that we would, at some point this week, come up with a list of 5 names that we like. if another name "comes to us" before the baby is born, the name can definitely be added to the list. however, if nothing else comes, we will at least have a list of 5 names that we could both love calling our son for the rest of our lives. whew. that makes me feel better, i must say.

and unrelated to the baby, but still very related to family, we got to spend two weeks with michael's little sister, danielle. it was the best two weeks we've had in a long time. she is 16 and one of the sweetest things on the planet. we tried to spoil her as much as possible. michael took her to places like fiesta texas and schlitterbahn. i joined them one day at sea world. we saw movies, went shopping, introduced her to pop tarts and jelly bellies. she took a lot of both of those home in her suitcase. we got her a couple of dresses for the ball she will be attending in september and plenty of clothes for summertime wear. of course, it's winter there now so it was incredibly hot for her here. especially because in the summertime, it's usually around 75-80 degrees there. we experienced one 113 degree day while she visited. poor thing. she also loves the chocolate milk shakes from sonic and we were able to help chill out the hot days with those. it was incredibly hard to put her on the plane last thursday. we cried all the way out to the car and halfway home. it's so hard to let that part of our family leave. we just don't know when we'll see them again. we're keeping our fingers crossed for maybe a christmas visit from them or something. we love you danielle! thank you for coming to see us!

other than that, things are moving right along in the kotze household.