the 12 step guide to making new friends in a weird place in life...i could really use one.

well, michael played golf on friday. michael played golf on saturday. michael is planning to play golf again on thursday. i got mad.

not like yelling, screaming, idiot mad, just a little...ruffled.

as i was apologizing for my stupid behavior, i realized why i even acted that way in the beginning. you see, in my heart, i have nothing against golf. i mean, after hours of watching it on tv, i may start to get a little crazy but for the most part, golf and i have a pretty good relationship. i mean we kind of have to work at it to have a good marriage but that is what we all want.

the thing is, when michael well...has a life...i realize how i don't.

i don't have any friends here. when i mentioned that to my husband, he asked how i could make friends.

i don't know.

honestly, i don't know.

i had no problem with making friends before but now i'm not in school, i'm not attending a regular church (yet), i'm not going to go to the bar to meet people my age and i just don't know what to do. we occasionally hang out with the golf guys and their wives, but they're all in different places in life. i work with some great people too, but still...different.

i like being here with my husband and i'm really happy that he is happy. he has a great job in which he is successful and challenged. he has friends and a hobby which he loves. i just wanna be happy here too.

what on earth do i do? how do i make new friends in this situation?

sigh...

surgery update

i'm doing okay here. to be honest, i haven't had incredible mouth pain. i stayed pretty consistent with my hydrocodone and that really helped. for the first little while, i didn't even feel like i'd had surgery. however, taking that medicine made me very sick to my stomach and i even got sick a few times. i just couldn't eat and the medicine was too strong without any food.

i finally switched to advil and have been able to eat since then. i have four holes in the back of my mouth and that's pretty gross to me. i'm really ready for those suckers to close up. i don't handle things like that very well. it just grosses me out. bleh.

on thursday, the hight of the stomach sickness, i called in a sub for friday. later, after i'd switched to advil, i wished that i hadn't called in. i was bored out of my mind of friday. michael wasn't here and watching tv for the third day in a row was just a little too much for me. i'm getting out today. i'm going somewhere. i don't care where, but i'm going somewhere.

maybe i'll go buy something for my new (well, coming soon) nephew grayson...

it's happening!

tomorrow morning...oral surgery!

hurray!

who on earth would have ever thought that anyone could be excited about surgery?

this afternoon, i went to my consultation for my wisdom teeth. the doctor suggested that i get all four removed and be put to sleep for the procedure. i totally agree with all that he suggested! we went out to the counter to set the date and the earliest date she gave me was april 9th. i asked if there was anything sooner. after i told her that i was in pain and had been for a while, she looked again and said that there had just been a cancellation for tomorrow at 9am. i took it!

i went to the school right after and completed lesson plans for three days. i talked to my principal and my team leader and called in a sub for tomorrow and thursday. if i need friday, i'll call later. i came home to my last real meal for a bit. michael cooked fries and chicken wings. :) it was great!

at this point, i'm just ridiculously happy that my pain will, in a short while, be over. thank you, Jesus.

i will have you know

that it is 9:50 on a monday morning and i am not at work!!!!

hallelujah!

it's spring break and it could not have come at a better time! i'm just thankful that me and all of my 21 6 year olds made it to this point alive. i was starting to worry about that. :)

the best part of this spring break is that later today, jules and i will be driving to san angelo to spend the week with family and friends. i miss them all so much. having a week instead of a few busy days will be wonderful.

look out san angelo, here i come! :)

another church tryout

this morning, michael and i tried oak hills church. it was nice, it was huge. we both left feeling a little, i don't know, normal.

we felt like we'd been to church, but not really to church.

i'm not trying to say anything against the church, because it was really nice, but i think for michael and i, we need to feel a little more in the service. i know that for a 5,000 member church, there are just certain ways things need to be done. for someone coming from a church like we have, it can seem a little too rehearsed.

oak hills and churches like it, are doing a fabulous job ministering to people. how can you not, with a population of 5,000? i am proud to know that churches like these have core values based and found in the living Word of God.

in the coming weeks, michael and i will try a few smaller churches and see if we feel led to make one of them our church home. the one thing i do know is that God is in control and will provide a church and a sense of comfort when we find the right one.

open house...of a different kind

tonight is our school's open house. it's every teacher's dream night...yea right.

hate it.

i had all of my kids put their stuff out on their desks and i put up some of their work. the room looked good so i left at 3:30. i have to be back there about 6:45. i don't get to leave until 8:30. hurray. can you sense my excitement?

i asked michael to come with me and he actually said yes. can you believe that?! i felt bad afterwards, so i texted him to tell him that he doesn't actually have to come.

either way, i'm just ready to have this open house closed and ready for spring break to be here.

an anniversary date

i was sitting on the couch when michael walked in the door at 6:15. he looked super handsome in his slacks and nice shirt. he was carrying with him a long stemmed, red rose and a dr. pepper.

he gave me an excited, "happy anniversary!" and then went straight to the kitchen to pour my dr. pepper over ice and stick a straw in it. i haven't had a dr. pepper in three weeks (beth, please don't freak out...). it was seriously the sweetest thing he could have done. it wasn't so amazing because i wanted one so badly, but because he knows how much i love it and wanted to make me happy.

after i sipped on my delicious d.p. we got dressed up and went out for a wonderful dinner. michael took me to an italian restaurant called bravo. it was delicious. when dinner was over, i went to the bathroom. when i came back to the table, i picked up my purse to put on some lip gloss, a card was lying there.

i cried with the sweet words my husband wrote to me. it is so nice to know i'm loved. we came back home and had some of our wedding cake. such a nice tradition. i will say, the majority of it is being thrown in the trash. :)

what a wonderful first anniversary!

the best day of my life

one year ago, today i was getting ready to marry the man of my dreams. our wedding was blissful, as was our honeymoon and our time with michael's family from new zealand.

our relationship has been through many, many changes, a lot of them happening within this tiny year of marriage. it definitely doesn't feel like a year has passed, but of course, i can't wait for more to come.

i've been complaining a lot about being stuck in this apartment with all of it's issues with michael and our dog. the other day i was driving home and heard a song on the radio that really made me think. it's by trace atkins and it's called "you're gonna miss this". the story starts with a mother talking to her teenage daughter and moves on to when the daughter is newly married. she is living in a tiny place and her dad stops by to chat. she begins to talk about a house and babies and her daddy tells her to slow down, one day she is gonna miss this. that song really made me take a second to appreciate where michael and i are right now. i am sure in the not-so-distant future, michael and i will look back on this time and remember when it was just "me and you and jules in that tiny little apartment."

michael-
you have blessed my life in more ways than you could ever know. you are my knight in shining armor and my one true love. when i was a little girl, i always tried to picture what my husband would be like and how our marriage would turn out. of all of my perfect dreams, i could have never come up with you. you make each day of my life better than the day before. there is nothing like a man who can make you laugh in the same second that he's making you feel ridiculously loved. thank you so much for making me your wife. i love you so much. happy anniversary. it's been a wonderful year!
kj

well! grace is not what this is called!

as soon as we got to the oral surgeon's office, i was greeted warmly by the ladies at the window. one took my insurance cards and license while the other begins to tell me that my dental insurance wants the oral surgery run through my medical insurance first.

turns out, my medical insurance will cover the surgery. because medical will cover the surgery, dental will not. this particular doctor's office isn't in our insurance network. we left about 5 minutes after we got there.

i was so sad i almost cried. i was just hoping that i'd walk in and the doctor would say, "why don't you come back on friday and we'll get those things out." unfortunately, it was the total opposite and i didn't even get to see the doctor.

now, we have to find another doctor, make another appointment, wait for the appointment and then see what the doctor will decide.

whaaa, whaaa, whaaa. my mouth just hurts!!!!

a mtg that could be my saving grace

i have an appt tomorrow with an oral surgeon. my mouth still hurts. my cheek is just stuck in between my teeth back there, so it hurts all the time too.

my appt is tomorrow at 2:30 so i'll have to leave school early. my co-worker is going to take my kids so i can leave early without having to take the day off. i'm hoping they'll be able to get me in, like maybe, this friday.

getting these teeth out will be the only thing that saves me.

eagle's nest

well, thanks to kara, jenny's sister-in-law, we tried another church on sunday.

eagle's nest was pretty nice. we went to the 1pm service and it was pretty full. this was their third service of the day. we walked in to really nice people and great worship. you know what i loved? i could hear the people around me worshiping. sounded really nice.

between worship and the sermon, the associate pastor (or youth pastor or someone) got up to take the "tithe and offering". he gave a little 5 minutes story/sermon about tithing. i really liked that because i believe in tithe and want to go to a church that preaches it, easily.

the pastor, rick godwin, looks like he just stepped out of the 80's :) (he had on a turquoise jacket and funny tie), but speaks really well. at first, michael and i both thought he just read a lot from his notes, but once he stepped away from his notes and just started preaching, it was really good.

the church is in the process of building a new building called the summit (i think, i don't totally understand where it is and what all it is). you know, when we move to our house in july, we'll be moving to "the summit". it's a different summit of course, but still kind of cool, i thought. :)

my mom mentioned how she used to love rick godwin and watch him a lot on television. sunday evening, my dad called and said the same thing. he used to watch him and said he had some really great words from the Lord. i must say that i'm happy my parents know of this guy and think he's godly. their opinion means so much to me.

michael and i both seem to like it, so we think we'll try it again this coming weekend.

jesus, please continue to show us your will and the place you are calling us to be.