is march over yet?

this is an email i just sent to my friend jenny. afterwards, i thought, well..that is basically a journal entry. why not post it?

my stomach hurts. my chin itches. my eyes are sleepy and my brain is tired of worrying about what to eat or not eat because it's going to make me fat or make me not feel good.

i cannot find music to walk down the asile to. i cannot think of what food we will have or how we will prepare enough for as many guests as we are having. i cannot decide if i should call ridgeway and have them do flowers for the cake, or if i should just take out the separaters and let the cakes sit on top of each other. i cannot decide whether the flowers girls hair should be up, down, or half way up and half way down. i do not know how i am going to get a large bedroom painted, all of my furniture, clothes and junk moved in before michael comes home on friday evening. how will i have my old bedroom and bathroom clean and clean my whole house before people get here this weekend. how will i then clean it again after people are gone and before michael's family gets here on tuesday?

i am mad that i planned to have all of the thank you cards done before the wedding and at this point, i cant even remember who sent something in the mail after the showers...

i am wondering how i will plan lessons for next week and the week after spring break when i cannot even think about what my kids are doing for the next five minutes without thinking about the wedding and things not yet marked off the list. i am tired of worrying about money and knowing i will have to spend more before this wedding is all over.

i am really tired about having to think about all of this while 20 little rugrats run around being mean to each other and tattle-telling on each other. can't they just get a long for two weeks?!? can they please not flock around my desk and follow me everywhere for just 10 seconds. please, someone stop them from cramming their papers in my face and interrupting each other and me while i am speaking to someone else!

yes, spring break is coming, and thank God for that. once that week is here, i will be married, the wedding will be over, the money waterfall will slow a little from my bank account and i will only have about 2 months left of school. my life will also be much better when march is over.

too bad it hasn't even begun...