the drama filled birthday of michael david

don't you find the most important posts to be the most difficult to write?

tuesday morning 1am - my first contraction hit. i started timing them for awhile and then just decided to sleep instead of worry. i was going to the hospital shortly anyway. i kept waking with my contractions for the duration of the morning and was already awake when my alarm went off at 5:30. i got up and started getting ready. i found mom and told her that i'd been having contractions and spotting and she was so excited. she'd been praying i'd go into labor on my own. i called the hospital at 6am as directed by my doctor. the nurse told me that they were a little full, to stay home and call again at 7. i explain that i'd been having contractions and spotting and she kindly and excitedly said, "well, come on in sweetie. you're in labor!"

we all finished getting ready and then mom, dad, michael and myself stood in the kitchen, held hands and prayed. we prayed for a quick labor, relatively free of crazy nervous emotions. we prayed for safety. we took a couple of funny pictures, loaded in the car and headed out.

big ol' pregnant belly

big ol' pregnant belly and daddy

7am - we arrive at the hospital and get all checked in. i am introduced to the most wonderful nurse this world has ever known, chellee. she was WONDERFUL. she took such great care of me and was always so sweet and informative to my family and any questions they had. she definitely made the process more easy to handle. she starts my pitocin drip on a very low setting and the day keeps rolling along.

8:10am - dr largoza arrives to check on me and breaks my water. it was the most painful part of the entire day. dad and michael had just left the room to grab a quick breakfast so chellee searched for my hand under the sheet and kindly said, "just squeeze my hand." i didn't think i'd need to, but i think i ended up breaking 3 fingers.

9am - my epidural arrives. i was most nervous about this part of the day. i hate needles. the nurse, millie, was amazing. i just wrapped my arms around her as she whispered in my ear. she told me exactly what to expect and what to do to help control the pains coming and going. she translated my mumblings to the anesthesiologist. it was as close to hugging my mom as it could have been. millie made that needle stick and restick bearable.

from that point on, through the rest of the day, i mostly slept while mom, dad, michael and eventually, sarah chatted.

7pm - i had been at 9.5 cm for a long time. chellee and dr. largoza decide that i will start to push so that dr. largoza can move the rest of my cervix behind the baby's head. i got through 4 rounds of pushing when his heartbeat starts to decelerate. his heart rate had been absolutely perfect all day. chellee even commented on how it was so rare to not have a single decel in a baby's heart rate throughout an entire labor. anyway, they stopped my pushing and stopped the pitocin drip. his heart rate kept dropping. dr. largoza started stating orders. nurses started running everywhere and my family and i stared in shock. dad, mom, and sarah (she surprised me by coming in about 3pm) stood in the corner watching nervously. michael rubbed the hair off my head and i started hugging everyone goodbye. no one could speak. i didn't cry until my mom came over. after we hugged, i turned on my side as tears poured down my face all the way to the O.R.

with nurses and doctors still running everywhere, i was given a spinal through my epidural catheter. the sheet was set up around my face and michael brought in to sit with me. about 5 mins later dr. largoza said, "stand up, daddy. see your baby!" michael stood and then looked down at me with tears in his eyes. baby boy started crying and after a quick gasp, i started crying too.

he was brought around the curtain to see me and all i could think was, "good Lord, that is a freakin' big kid." he weighed in at 9 lbs 1 oz and stretched out to a good 21.5 inches long. dr. largoza says that he saved me from 3 hours of pushing because i probably would've ended up in surgery anyway. he just wasn't fitting. michael held him until they finished with my surgery and finally wheeled me back to my room. the family came in to see me and the baby and everyone was smiles again.

i've been in some pretty incredibly pain in the past few days, but i've never been happier. michael david jules kotze is the best thing that's ever happened to me. he's the best thing that's ever happened to his daddy too. you should see them together. it is the sweetest thing ever. i cry just thinking about it.

i now have my own labor story, and while it's not the one i would've chosen, it's one i'll gladly take to be able to take my son too. what an incredible gift. thank you, jesus, for a healthy baby here safe and secure.

i love you, michael david. you are my life.