today...

i have checked blogs about elevendy-million times.

it's starting to hurt my heart. everyone is either busy at work, or busy with work at home.

i should be teaching...

ang...rw...

how do you get those really cute blog templates?

i know

i don't like this look either, but i was tired of the other one.

when i have more time to make something i like, i'll change it again.

until then...sorry. :(

sunny earth worms

ramen noodles overcooked are sort of like earth worms that have been in the sun all day.

gross and slimy.

my flowers!

finally i get to brag! here are the flowers from my honey!

happy birthday flowers. michael arranged them himself. didn't he do a great job?! he said, "i don't know why they call that stuff baby's breath, it seriously stinks!" cutie!

6 month anniversary flowers and candy.
they arrived at school! it was such a sweet surprise!

thank you baby! you're the best husband in the whole world!

pictures of Grant, finally

this is my first time to hold sweet, Grant. these pictures were sunday afternoon, right after the retreat. isn't he perfect?grant stretching out in my lap.

jenny helping big brother mason, hold his new baby, grant.

this is right after mason stole grant from me.

mason was so proud to show off grant. he grabbed my hands and drug me to grant's room as soon as i walked in the door. sweet boy.

grant relaxing. such a hard life. ;)

skinny mama. could this woman seriously be the mother of that 3 day old baby?

sweet baby kisses.

mama and baby in the infamous glider.

it was such a thrill to be able to spend time with grant. he is such a little sweet heart. i miss him already. of course, our mason was quite the host, introducing me to the baby and then staring at me until i gave the baby to him. he's such a funny little guy.

troy, jenny and mason-i'm so happy for you. i'm glad you have this new little addition to the family! i miss you guys! love you all!

ummm...our new tv

well, our tv is about 3 weeks old, but this is how it lived for the first two weeks.
yes, it's sitting on top of a Rubbermaid container. don't laugh!

this is the tv after we bought a cheap stand from target.

better, huh?

quiet, working time

there are many times that i follow my directions for a project with, "okay, this is quiet working time. so...no talking."

i said that today and aisley said, "it's always quiet working time around here."

because of that i decided to let them listen to music. i don't have a cd player so i have to put the cd's in my computer and turn the speakers to face the kids. i have few cd's. 3 of them came in a pack. a "Silly songs for kids" pack. uh...okay.

i put a cd in, listened for a minute, kept skipping songs and finally took it out. i put in another cd and eventually did the same thing. i said, "sorry guys, that music is annoying me." come to find out, it was annoying them too. ;)

when i took out the second cd, i decided to put my overshadowed worship cd back in. i did, and i turned it down just a tad. a few kids looked over and logan mentioned that he could hear my music. i left it playing.

when mady came over to ask if i could turn the music up, i did.

my kids sat, calmly and quietly, working on a project for 35 minutes with worship music playing in the background of their minds.

it was lovely.

thank you, Jesus, for unexpected times of worship. thank you for placing me in this position for a reason. let me make a difference in these kids. a difference for you.

i tried

i tried to post some pics.

some of grant.

some of flowers.

some of random things.

but mainly some of grant.

it wouldn't work? what the heck?!

aisley

i have a little girl. she is the cutest little thing. she is really petite, blond headed, brown eyes. she's a little spunky. dresses a little funky. she's really, really cute.

she's also really sweet.

the other really sweet thing is that the librarian sells ice cold dr pepper in a can in the library. i often, on days like today, send aisley to the library with my 50 cents to get my heaven.

today she came back smiling like crazy. i had given her a quarter and a nickel. crazy mrs. kotze.

i sent her back with the right amount and she was very thrilled that i got to "keep my soda!"

aisley then brought her snack up to me to open. i looked at it. it's an oreo cakester. have you ever seen this? it's an oreo, but instead of the chocolate cookie, it's chocolate cake with chocolate filling.

i looked at aisley with huge eyes as i opened her package. when she looked back at me, her eyes grew huge and she smiled. she rubbed her hands together and said, "mmm! chocolate on chocolate!"

how cute is that?!

birthday surprises

i have never had to spend a birthday without my parents. sounds a little crazy, huh? but it's true. in all of my years, my parents have been there. this birthday was going to be a little different and i was going to be a little sad.

i woke up monday morning and groaned. why hadn't i taken my birthday off?! i thought about calling in and i asked michael if we should both take the day off for my birthday. he sort of chuckled and then said, "well, um..no. this is the last week of the month and i really need to be at work." fine.

i got up and went into my bathroom, turned on the light and was greeted with the sight of a dozen beautiful red roses and a card. it was from my husband. i cried. i read the card, standing in the bathroom, in my t-shirt, at 6:15am, with puffy-sleepy eyes and cried at my first birthday card from my husband.

while i got ready for school, michael made me breakfast. you guessed it! an eggo with pb and syrup and a cold glass of milk.

at school, we all got subway and delicious chocolate cake. it was a nice lunch.

however, at the end of the day, i was getting on to a student when a movement caught my eye. i looked into the hallway and there stood my marme and daddy. my mouth dropped open and as i walked towards them i said, "what are you doing in this city?!" (it was in a pretty whiney voice so my kids were looking at me kind of weird but they cheered up when they saw what my dad had in his hands).

cupcakes.

on thursday of last week dad said to mom, "i know you're going to be tired when you get back from the retreat, but be prepared because on monday we are driving to san antonio to take my daughter cupcakes for her birthday." it was so wonderful!

my kids got to meet my parents and my parents got to meet my kids (uhh...weird). they all liked each other a lot! the kids especially liked my parents because, HELLO!!! CUPCAKES!!!

i left right after school and we drove the .2 miles to the apartment. we hung out for a little while and when michael got home, we went out for a birthday dinner. ph changs. it was so stinkin' good!

it was such a great birthday surprise!

thank you marme and daddy for driving all of those 6 hours just to bring your baby girl cupcakes on her birthday. you are the best!

thank you baby, for the beautiful roses, card, breakfast, and the sweet surprise of knowing my parents were coming and now letting me call in sick.

i love you all so much. i am so blessed.

overshadowed

it's such a sweet feeling.

this retreat was more than i could've ever dreamed it to be. i have so much to say about how God has changed my life. it was amazing.

one of my favorite parts of the weekend was being able to look around and see 32 other women worshiping God in their own way. i wrote about it several times in my journal. those are scenes i do not want to forget. i know God met each of us this weekend and moved us to a new place.

last night on my way home, i put the overshadowed worship cd in my cd player and turned it up. it led me to such a sweet place of worship. i love that.

i will post more when i'm not at school. believe me, i have plenty to post.

thank you, my redeemer, for such an amazing time with you. you are my love. my protector. you are more than worthy of anything i could ever give you. thank you for teaching me to accept you, what you've done for me, and how you feel about me. i am so in love with you.

i feel like...really, really bad

i'm just saying that i feel like blah. it started last night and it's getting worse. it feels like allergies or a cold and i'm hoping for allergies that will clear up when i get closer to west texas.

my head hurts. my nose hurts. my eyes hurt. now, my tummy kind of hurts.

this is a hard thing to handle when you have 18 six year olds running around like crazy.

i don't want to feel bad during the retreat. help me, Jesus. take this stuff away.

Baby Wilde

We have a new addition!

Grant Austin Wilde was born around 11:15 on September 21, 2007. He weighed 8 lbs 1 oz (pretty good for a baby who is three weeks early ;). Grant is 20 inches long.

Jenny had a pretty good delivery, she says. It was painful but by the time she got to the hospital, she was far enough along to get an epidural. She says she only had to push about 5 times before the baby made his appearance.

Jenny and Grant are both doing very well! She was about to eat when I spoke with her! She was starving. Grant was not, he had already eaten, pretty well I think. ;)

Jenny says to tell everyone hi!

Congrats Jenny, Troy and Mason. We can't wait to meet that new little boy!

yes...pray

pray specifically.

there is someone incredibly interested in our house. she told our realtor that she wants it. she also asked a lot of question which really give us the idea that she seriously does want it and money is not an issue for her right now. her husband comes to see it tomorrow.

i guess we'll know after that.

please, jesus.

thank you Sister, for having everyone pray!

the importance of having the correct kitchen untensils

have you ever tried to get wet spaghetti out of a pot with a spatula?

have you ever tried to really stir kool-aid in the bottom of a plastic jug with the handle of a spatula?

have you ever tried to refrigerate leftovers without any tupperware?

have you ever tried to open a can without a can opener?

you know, there really is a use for all of those things. certain jobs require certain utensils. make sure you always have the correct utensils on hand. life is hard without them.

beth

it was so wonderul to read your blog this morning. i miss you dearly. just the other day i was thinking about our small group. we got to see each other at least 3 days a week and talk and hang out. those were fun times and seem like sooo long ago.

i am so glad to hear that your student teaching is going well. i still wish i knew what school you were at. i guess when i text you my email address, you can email me and let me know all of that fun information. i love to read the stories of your students. the boy who "showed" you his "bad finger" is one of the funniest stories so far. i also love the one about something being wrong with hair. just wait until you run out of eyeliner and your kids ask you what's wrong and when you explain that you ran out of makeup, they tell you you should go to the store and get more. or, it was always fun for a kid to look at my id tag (in which the picture was taken a couple of years ago during the summer after my trip to hawaii) and tell me that i look better that way and i should look like that again. gee, thanks.

my kids here are pretty good. i have a few stinkers, but for the most part i am really enjoying these kids. i must say, that as badly as i wish you could bring me lunch and chat with me, the chick-fil-a's aren't as good here. what?! i know. it's sad, but it's true. there's just something not as good about them. enjoy the one there for me. drink a really good dr. pepper in honor of me.

i'll be in sa every weekend for the rest of this month, but maybe sometime soon, you can come visit me here and we can just talk and hang out. sounds like fun, huh?!

i hope you get to take a nap after school! i know i'm hoping for one for myself too. have fun and i'll talk to you soon. i miss you and i love you.

however,

i do feel very settled in my classroom. i guess that's good since it is always my home away from home from august to may (june this year!).

everything is in it's place. everything runs as i want it to run (most of the time). i have a good class that actually knows what "work quietly" means.

i am the ruler of this kingdom.

i love that.

unsettled

don't you hate that feeling? i hate that feeling. i especially hate that feeling when you think you're finally at the point where you should start feeling settled, at home, secure.

i don't have that feeling right now.

i hate that.

family

my family is so important to me. i never tire of seeing them. i never tire of talking with them. i never tire of thinking about them

getting to see matt, mandy, sarah and ellie this weekend was so, so nice. we jam packed our visit into a couple of days, but it was so totally worth it. my baby brother is so sweet for deciding to come at the last minute, getting off work early, and driving the girls and the not-so-happy baby 5 hours to see us. it was so great.

thanks guys for coming to sa to see us. i love you all so much!

the simple life

it's pretty good, ya know? living the simple life.

(well, i guess since we have a house on the market in another town, and a whole life there and here, it's not really that simple...but let's not go there.)

michael and i have been pretty happy in our little apartment. he cancelled his trip this week because he had too much stuff to do at work to go to training and miss 4 days out of this week. we blew up our air matress, convered it with our duvet comforter, and placed pillows against the wall. it's a fabulous couch. but, it leaks a little, so after a bit of sitting/lying on the couch, michael and i find ourselves suddenly "involuntarily cuddling." that's what michael calls it anyway. don't let that worry you, he does like to cuddle. we've had simple dinners of either ramen noodles with buttered bread and milk or egg sandwhiches. pretty good.

last night, micheal decided he would again have ramen and i opted for two toasted eggos with butter, peanut butter and hot syrup. with a cold glass of milk, of course. (i have made michael taste this before on our honeymoon, but it was with blueberry waffles-not as good)

i took my first bite and closed my eyes. delicious. then i offered michael a bite. when it first entered his mouth, he exaggeratingly closed his eyes and "mmmed". but, then he opened his eyes kind of shocked and gave me the look, "wow, this really is good." it was funny and i do so love being right.

after he ate his ramen, he asked for dessert...you got it! a waffle. i made it and he loved it and like i said before, i just love being right.

good news: box of eggo waffles=$1.49. that's a lot of pretty cheap meals. ;)

today. the life of the sweet kotze husband.

today after school, i walked through the office to check my box and head back to my room. i smiled at the rose bouquet on the counter and then stopped to talk to the secretary about one of my kiddos.

as i'm about to leave, she says, "oh, by the way, those are yours and so is that purple bag."

huh?

i walked over to the vase and sure enough...IT'S MINE!!!!

a dozen pink, white and yellow roses and a box of delicious chocolates. the card read:

"molee, thank you for the best six months of my life.

i will love you forever."

'

he'll kill me when he sees that on here, but i want to remember it forever. today is our six month anniversary and i'd never even thought of it! what a sweet man i have!

i was going to post pictures but i couldn't get it to work on my school computer and i won't have internet at my house until tomorrow afternoon. i couldn't wait until tomorrow to share this with someone!

'

i love you baby! thank you so much for making me such a happy woman! you are my love and i could never ask for anything better than you. thanks for making me laugh and cry and feel so incredibly loved. you are the best! love, yours

yesterday. the day of the crazy kotzes

yesterday:

• went to chuch
• went to lunch with jerry and crystal and jacob...at burger king. fancy.
• went to sams
• went to best buy
• got a tv for yours truely
• went home
• packed
• loaded dad's truck
• cleaned the house
• drove to marme's
• left the dog
• picked up the bed
• strapped in all down in the back. carried so much stuff i had to sit cross-legged in the front seat (stuff was taking over the floorboard).
• stopped in eden to make sure things were secure.
• drove the three hours to san antonio.
• went by the house we were staying in to pick up work clothes and last minute things...like toilet paper. and...my jeep.
• stopped to get gas and milk and ramen and bread and butter and coffee and stole some little sugar packets from the coffee/capuccino service. hey! we were buying coffee!
• drove to the apartments.
• loved the view in.
• unloaded the truck into the second floor apt in like 222% humidity. that's what it felt like anyway.
• helped michael put the bed together.
• made the bed.
• hung 7 shirts and four pairs of pants in the large closet. looks pretty funny.
• forgot the shower curtain so had to take a bath. (all while michael is setting up the tv: he's leaving this week and i was going to be bored out of my mind in an apt that has only a bed and no friends in town!)
• cooked ramen in the microwave (we only have a big pot and a large skillet).
• served michael his ramen, buttered bread and milk, then i went to make my own.
• sat on the floor of the living room and watched spider man while eating my ramen.
• set out my clothes for today and set my alarm while michael took a bath.
• finally, went to bed.
• michael finished watching spiderman.

whew. i'm glad that's over. i'm sure you are too! ;)

tiiirreed

it always amazes me how tired i am by friday night during the school year. i get so sleepy that i yawn enough to make my shoulder hurt. my eyes burn and blink slowly, and when i open them, i see cross-eyed for a few seconds while my tired eyes focus.

the funny thing is, right now, i'm adding a three hour drive to the end of my work week. now granted, michael did drive, but still- being in the car that's going somewhere is just tiring...don't ya think?

well, we got to sa about 9pm last night and came straight to my parents. number 1-to see them. i'm not used to only seeing them once a week so it's been a little hard to get used to. number 2 - they're babysitting for us until we can take jules to san antonio with us.

okay. time-out. i'm at mom's again and she just brought me a round-house egg with bacon and a glass of milk. i'm still so tired i might cry. it feels so good to be home.

okay, that was delicious.

so, last night. i was really gripy. just griping about anything and everything that was pointless and silly. and when i'm tired, i sort of start raising my voice and getting stupid over things that don't mean anything. so in the middle of one of these tirades, my dad puts his arm around me and says, "what's wrong baby?"

i automatically deflate and realize how i've been acting. "i'm tired." as i melt into his arms and relax. then i was done. i just sat there, leaning against my daddy, as michael continued talking with mom and dad. a little while later i motioned my head to the door and we said goodnight and left.

i went straight to sleep and i can vaguely remember michael hugging and kissing me before he turned over to go to sleep.

i'm still tired this morning, but man i feel a lot better. so-thanks daddy for calming me down and being such a good dad. thanks baby for taking me home and putting me to bed. thanks marme for making me a delicious breakfast.

i love you, my sweet family.

hehehe...

on my way to school this morning, i set my odometer to zero at the gate of our new apartments to measure the distance i will drive each morning. from the gate of the apartments to the front entrance of the school:

.2 miles.

to my parking spot it's only .4 miles.

hehehe! i can't help but laugh!

home away from home

i think we finally have a place to live. hurray!

we should be moving into our 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment this weekend! of course, we'll have to come home to get some stuff. oh well!

one of the gates at the apartment complex, is located on the street my school is on. you can actually see the apartments from the playground of my school! it's fabulous!

to get to school by 7:00 i'll have to leave by about 6:57. whoa!

now, that's good! hopefully this apartment will be our home away from home.

okay, now i'm really sorry

i just read marme's blog and i didn't realize people were calling her to ask if i am really pregnant.

i feel terrible. please forgive me and i'll never do anything like that again.

ps-tell 'em crys...

sorry to disappoint you

and goodness gracious, la, i think you definitely stirred up some stuff.

no, i am not pregnant.

might be nice if i was. i could feel like a part of the "in" crowd.

that "ps-guess what?" is a way that crys and i have always told each other what great friends we are to one another.

i knew that could be mistaken, but i just had to risk it. i had to let crys know how much i miss her. and...she didn't even post a comment. how sad.

also, i thought to myself..."self, if everyone reads this and thinks your pregnant, it might be kinda funny." but, maybe it wasn't.

you people think i'd tell you over blog?! geez. marme would have spread the word much faster than a blog ever could have. however, thanks for your loving support anyway. ;) i guess one day, i'll make a lot of people pretty happy! ;)

love you girls!

important shmortant

there just isn't anything important for me to say. i don't know what to say. i'm busy with school and things are going well there.

michael and i are supposed to get our own place this week.

my closet at school is now half organized, it's been driving me crazy. i left there at 6 tonight. i haven't left the school before 530 since this year started. that really stinks. but i know after i get everything situated and we're in full gear, it will get better.

for now, i'm just starvin' and i miss my friends.

crys-where are you? i haven't seen, talked or blogged with you in forever. i hope all is going well and i hope those triplets aren't bothering you too much. hehe! ;) i miss you and i love you dearly. write me soon, friend.

ps-guess what...

hello? are there any out there?

are there any pictures of my dear sweet ellie? i miss her so and i just need to see her sweet, little, round face.

if there are any pictures of my ellie belle floating around out there, please share.

i'm desperate.

a good chat

sometimes all a girl needs is a good, long chat with her friend.

i got to go to jenny's last night for some much needed girl time. we talked for hours. she was very willing to listen to my nonesense because i brought her a large coke from sonic. whatever it takes, i say! ;)

my mom called while i was there and was wondering why i was with jenny and not with michael. i had to explain to her that michael and jenny's roles have now changed. it used to be jenny during the week and michael on the weekends. now it's michael during the week and jenny on the weekends (when we can). it's nice to be able to do that.

so, thanks, my friend, for allowing me to come over, sit on your couch and chat your ear off. it was very nice and very needed. i love you.

just thinking

i'm awake so early on a saturday, because michael and i are about to head to odessa for my grandfather's bday party.

i'm just thinking of my sister. i miss you.