a good cry.

how long has it been since you've had a good cry? for no reason, and every reason all at the same time?

me?

about 3 hours.

michael left this morning, my car is broken, there is a large list of things to do, my home is going to belong to someone else, i've quit my beloved job, i'm trying to plan a garage sale with my mom, i'm moving to a new place, getting a new job, and worrying about all of this stuff when there is no dr. pepper in the house.

i was right in the middle of an episode of csi:miami (to which, for some reason, i have recently become addicted). i hadn't been thinking much about my major life change, but suddenly, for no apparent reason, i broke into tears. i felt half-shocked and half-released. i gave in to the release.

i sat in my chair, with jules on the ottoman, my remote in my hand and my tv tuned to csi and i cried. i cried out loud, sitting up, starring at the tv. i cried for awhile. i let the tears run down my face and i didn't even bother to wipe them off. i didn't worry about a running nose or running make-up. i didn't worry about jules watching me like i'd lost my mind. i just cried.

then...

i stopped

and i felt so much better.